HUMOUR

So this friend of mine loves frequenting the library, not for the books but for the free Wi-Fi. He is so addicted to the Internet that he cannot leave that building unless he is literally forced out of the building. What better way to kick him out than the dear  bell that goes off at 9.30pm every weekday of the semester?

Maybe you have been present when that bell rings inside the Margaret Thatcher Library. Maybe it annoys the hell out of you. But for my dear friend, he claims that immediately that bell goes off, everything he was doing evaporates from his head. Say, he was studying for a CAT at that moment and was just about to finish, it all evaporates. He just walked into my room, looking helpless and worn out from his experience with the library bell. Poor guy!

Maybe the library should rethink the whole bell thing. I am pretty sure it is meant to be a fire alarm. It is not even helping some people get out of the building. Believe it or not, the other day a friend of mine was locked in that big building for the night! I don’t know how you can sleep through that annoying bell, but he did. Apparently he decided to catch forty winks and hoped the bell would wake her up. The next thing he knew, he was alone and could do nothing but wait till morning.

What would you do? Run and scream like a crazy person until someone outside hears you? I know what my dear Internet addict would do, surf like crazy and thank God he has all the ban

STRENGTH OF A WOMAN

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‘I died that day; it’s only that I wasn’t buried. He didn’t simply take away my home; he took away my well-being, my peace and my capability to love any other man. After he showed me the door, I knew my life had not hit the rocks; it had hit the boulders. I gathered my things and left with my four children’.
She says this with a broken smile plastered on her face. Her profound love is the most alluring, not once did she mention herself without pointing out her offspring. Her strength is so overwhelming yet she takes it casually. I stare blankly pondering on the events that brought her world to a standstill.
‘I got to learn about my HIV status a few years before my husband kicked me out. Contracting HIV from the one you love is the worst case scenario but this disease tightened our bond. Life was hard; we had very limited resources but having each other made it easier. It was better to face a milestone with him than alone. We reminded each other of taking medication and watched each other’s diet. He was a husband back then, my very own warrior but something changed him; something dark overcame him’.
She looks down and barely looks up from this point on. The emotional turmoil that she had gone through was too much to bear. The agony of keeping her health in check was her biggest challenge. The grave was her alternative. The thought of her babies being orphans is what kept her alive. She no longer lived for herself, she lived for her children.
‘My children are my driving force; they give me a reason to wake up and work day after day. I would probably be dead if it wasn’t for them. Its more than mere love. A mother is a bear and her children are her cubs. Washing people’s clothes is my main source of income though I run various businesses. I have my mind on my money and my heart with my children as I wash stranger’s undergarments. She giggles. I have been washing clothes for over 7 years; it is my only option for survival’.
‘Laundering has helped me feed my children, give them education, medicate myself and put clothes on our backs. What’s life without a little challenge? I like to think of myself as Job from the Bible, he was a strong man and I esteem him. If I were to meet him, I think we would understand each other in a way only God would identify with. Though what I have gone through is meagre compared to his experience’.
She sips her cup of tea and takes a long pause before carrying on. Her tear stained face, her frail hands, her eyes attest to her painful past. Her voice breaks when she continues to talk about her husband.
‘When people say that love is blind, they have no idea what that truly means. My husband was the treacherous type. Look for infidelity and you would find it next to him. Waswahili say “mwanaume ni wako akiwa nyumbani, akishatoka ni wa wenyewe (a man is yours only when he is in your house, when he leaves he belongs to other women) and I learned to accept that the hard way. I knew that he was my highway to death but I stuck with him, I was flimsy back then. I know it wasn’t shrewd but I would forever love him till death kills me first. One can never control the heart. He was my devil’. She finishes with a subtle voice.
‘The worst part of infidelity is what comes with it; battery. Men detest confrontations to the letter. I can’t remember how many times my face and his fist met or had something thrown at me whenever I asked of his whereabouts. Waking up in the morning with a sore back was part of my ritual, pretending to be Muslim so that I could conceal my face was the norm and still everybody knew. I think I was hiding from myself and not from the world. What I do recall are my neighbours pointing fingers and ridiculing me for my idiocy. They wouldn’t comprehend my reasons for staying with a beast under the same roof. And I didn’t anticipate for their approval or understanding. I did it all for my children. Wouldn’t you?’ I nod in agreement as I close my eyes to prevent tears from falling.
‘He would come home drunk late at night and wake me up with a whip on the back, asking for food. He hated that I would feed the children and not put him in the equation. Most times he left fifty shillings for breakfast, lunch and supper to feed six people which was hardly enough for one meal. Other times he would leave more than that but I would still deny him food. You may think am vindictive but that man damaged me from the inside. The only reason he kept me alive was because he didn’t want to be responsible for our children. I do not abhor him but he is undeniably not on my list of favourite people’. Her quest for vengeance was swallowed up when her responsibilities amplified. She left God to deal with him accordingly for He knew the baggage she had inside.
‘From time to time I stare at the mirror just to recollect the past. It serves as my incentive, my only way to a brighter future. My first two children, I got them out of wedlock; something I don’t take pride in but they are my best mistakes for I love them more than anything. My husband never really loved them; he constantly referred to them as outcasts or machokoraa (street children), it hurt me to watch my very own children being mistreated and shunned. I would rather have him call me names, drag my name through mud and make me his punching bag but spare the children. The children suffer most during domestic violence, I remember them pleading with their father not to end my life. I just hope that they don’t inherit my resentment for the man or even worse; be like him’.
‘I never really got any education but God placed a good head on my shoulders. I made sure all my children got educated. All I want is for them to lead a better life than me, have the comforts that I never had. I would rather have them cry in that range rover than laugh on a bicycle’ she jokes. ‘My belief in education is just as strong as my belief in God and I am a very strong believer of Christ. Currently I have about 6 customers who I wash clothes for. My monthly income generates about 3000/= which may not be enough but is there such thing as enough money? I live in a one bedroom mabati house with my five children. I got my fifth child a couple of years after leaving my husband’. She wipes her tears as she leaves her final remarks.
‘My daughter, Maria who is now fourteen was defiled last year and she got pregnant as a result. I know she isn’t Albert Einstein and I don’t blame her for what happened but she doesn’t listen to me. If she did maybe she wouldn’t be where she is. We had to give the baby up because we can hardly meet our own needs and the child might not have survived in our care. I was hoping Maria would one day save this family but with her escapades and running off with strangers makes me wonder if my family can ever be saved. I just don’t know what to do anymore’.
Lucy’s fifth child was taken to a children’s home after delivery for fear of him dying of hunger under her care. She managed to get him back after the children’s home couldn’t handle any more kids. This is her third year of taking ARVs and she prays to God that she will see yet another year.
Maria’s child is in the children’s home under protection. It’s alleged that the father wants to terminate the baby as evidence of his heinous crime. He will face trial next year. Her one bedroom house is now under threat of being destroyed as it is on private property.

‘The passion she has for her children is what keeps her alive not even the medication’ she says. She wasn’t just born to fill the earth; her purpose overwrites all what is common in many people and she is aware. She didn’t just give me a story, she gave me hope, she gave me humility, she gave me the spirit of gratitude and most importantly she gave me motivation to reach to others like her.

-Based on true life events

CAMPUS MADNESS: SECOND YEAR STUDENT DRINKS HERSELF SILLY

A second year female student on Friday drunk herself silly at stage to the amusement of her fellow
revelers. The student who is believed to be a first time consumer of liquor is reported to have gone to stage in a company of her friends to take one or two for the road before attending the scandalous jam session at her pal`s room.

It is however reported that the lady instead of consuming what is enough gulped several bottles
leaving her temporarily mad.

According to an eye witness who declined to mentioned, it took the intervention of the sassy second year student’s friends to carry her to her hostel  after she stupidly decided to sleep along the Academic Highway clutching a lamp post.

The ‘rescue mission’ however proved difficult for the patrons as the hapless drunk woman persistently wailed uncontrollably attracting curious onlookers and thoroughly embarrassing her fellow revelers.

The Baggies host an in-form Gunners side this evening in the Capital One Cup, with our tipster Hugh Wilson backing an early goal

Fresh off the back of wins at the weekend, Arsenal and West Brom meet in the Capital One Cup, with both sides coming into this match in confident mood.

Arsene Wenger’s side make their first appearance this season in the Capital One Cup after gaining a bye in the last round, with Steve Clarke’s side breezing past Newport County in a 3-0 win at the Hawthorns in the second round.

Arsenal come into this match after recording their seventh straight win in all competitions at the weekend. Wenger’s side saw of a spirited Stoke City team to run out 3-1 winners and put them on top of the Premier League.

After starting the season with a loss at home to Aston Villa, Arsenal have been in unstoppable form, beating the likes of Fenerbahce, Tottenham Hotspur and Marseille.

Despite Wenger being likely to bring in a few new faces this evening, Betway price them at even money (2.00) to carry on their winning run.

West Brom recorded their first league win of the season at the weekend, cruising past Sunderland at home in a 3-0 win. Their only previous victory this season had come in the Capital One Cup, with Clarke’s men recording draws away at Everton and Fulham.

The Baggies had been poor at home in the league before the win against Sunderland, losing to both Swansea and Southampton. Betway price them as outsiders tonight at 13/5 (3.60) to progress in 90 minutes. The same firm prices the draw at 12/5 (3.40).

Both sides have been involved in matches where we have seen early goals in recent weeks. A bet that stands out in this match is a goal before the 30th minute at 7/10 (1.70) with Betway which is a fantastic price when you consider it would have paid out in five of Arsenal’s last six matches.

It’s another test for David Moyes tonight as he welcomes Brendan Rodgers side to Old Trafford, our tipster thinks Wayne Rooney can score first for his side

More pressure was heaped on David Moyes on Sunday afternoon as Manchester United were taken apart by rivals Manchester City, who came out 4-1 winners in the league fixture.

With Chelsea, City and Liverpool already played in the league, it’s been a tough start for the former Everton manager and tonight will be no different, with Liverpool visiting Manchester and Luis Suarez making his return after his ban.

United come into this match needing a victory. Moyes has failed to beat one of the top clubs he’s faced this season and if he is unable to lead United into the next round tonight, more questions will be asked.

With United hosting West Brom at the weekend, expect Moyes to play a full strength team in this Capital One Cup match.

Robin Van Persie will be another big miss for United, but with Wayne Rooney finding form, he should lead the line for United. Paddy Power price them as favourites at 5/4 (2.25) to win in 90 minutes.

Liverpool were shocked at the weekend with Southampton coming to Anfield and claiming all three points with a 1-0 victory.

Brendan Rodgers’ side had started the season in fine form, winning their first four competitive matches, but a draw to Swansea which was followed by that Southampton result, has seen them slip in recent weeks.

With Liverpool looking to get back winning ways, they will be delighted to welcome back Suarez for this massive clash between two rivals.

Paddy Power price the visitors at 23/10 (3.30), with the draw also being priced at 23/10 (3.30).

With the both teams to score bet and over 2.5 goals both a little too short to back, it’s worth taking a look at the goalscorer market to find a bet worth backing.

Wayne Rooney has really stepped up for United over the last few weeks, scoring against Crystal Palace, Bayer Leverkusen and Man City. With van Persie missing again, he will be United’s main man and the bet of him to net United’s first goal at 7/2 (4.50) with Paddy Power seems like a fantastic price.

Indian Students Develop ‘Rape-Prevention’ Underwear

Three engineering students in India have developed lingerie that they claim has “anti-rape” features that will help women protect themselves against possible attacks.

The underwear — dubbed Society Harnessing Equipment — features GPS technology (to alert the police) as well as pressure-activated electrodes “capable of sending shock waves of 3,800 kV” Manisha Mohan, one of the developers behind the product, told the Times of India.

(MOREAnother High-Profile Rape in India Highlights Ongoing Problem)

“A person trying to molest a girl will get the shock of his life the moment pressure sensors get activated,” he told the newspaper. The GPS link and a cell phone transmitter would also send an SOS text to emergency services “as well as to parents of the girl,” he said.

The circuitry for the GPS and sensor modules are both based near the bosom — as according to research on attempted rapes and sexual harassment, that is where women are first attacked, say the students.

(MOREIndia Demands Change as It Mourns Gang-Rape Victim)

Mohan and her fellow designers outlined the inspiration behind their design in the project profile:

“Studying in a convent girls school, we were always taught to be good to everyone around and bear a cheerful smile. After stepping into the real , cruel world we realized that our smile could not last for long as the threat to our purity and integrity always lingered on. Since the law makers take ages to come up with just laws and even after that, women are unsafe.”

The rape and death of a young woman in Delhi last year has highlighted the problem of sexual violence in India. The students cite both the Delhi gang rape as well as another incident in Bangalore as their impetus for finding a solution to the problem.

However the idea of an anti-rape device is not a new one. In South Africa the controversial ‘Rape-Axe’, a latex condom embedded with inward-facing barbs, was proposed in 2005 to mixed reception. Though theSociety Harnessing Equipment can reportedly deliver up to 82 shocks, it’s considerably tamer than the Rape-Axe. The students are hoping to make their design available for purchase in April.

 

MORE: Should the Indian Gang-Rape Victim Remain Anonymous?

 

 

Read more: http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/04/05/indian-students-develop-rape-prevention-underwear/#ixzz2Pd2xP851

Ibrahimovic: Rooney should join PSG

The 27-year-old forward has endured a stop-start campaign at Old Trafford this season, after struggling with both his form and fitness amid reports that he could be set for a move

Paris Saint-Germain striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic has advised Manchester United forward Wayne Rooney to join him at the French club, should he consider a switch elsewhere in the summer.

Goal.com exclusively revealed last month that Rooney has already told several of his club-mates that he could be leaving the champions-elect sooner rather than later.

 
ROONEY HAPPY AT UNITED – YORKE
5/1 Wayne Rooney is 5/1 with William Hill to score first in Monday night’s Manchester derby

After enduring a somewhat fractious relationship with manager Sir Alex Ferguson of late, amid concerns about his weight and the impact that this was then having on his fitness, Ibrahimovic believes PSG are the only club that the England international should look to if he decides to try to force through a move.

“If he wants to be part of the best project in football then there is only one club to sign for,” the Sweden captain told The Sun.

“Only he knows the decision he is going to make in the summer but the project we are trying to build here is clear.

“We are not content with being the dominant force in France, we want to be the top club in Europe as well.

“I can understand why the owners are interested in Rooney — he is in the top 10 of strikers in Europe.”

The 27-year-old’s future remains up in the air after he was omitted from the club’s starting line-up for their Champions League clash against Real Madrid last month.

Manchester rivalry set to reach boiling point

A series of dramatic incidents over the past few seasons have only served to stoke the flames of a 132-year-old city derby that had traditionally been dominated by United

           

COMMENT
By Sam Lee

“Bitter” is the word often bandied about where football rivalries are concerned. The pre- and post-game posturing between rival fans often descends into who, in fact, is the most bitter.

Over the years, the word has become as much a part of the Manchester rivalry as Denis Law, Curly Watts, “plastic fans” and, latterly, “Agueroooooooooooooooooooooo…”.

For years, United fans referred to City as bitter. Bitter of United’s dominance, bitter about their riches, bitter about everything. The examples – blue ketchup at Maine Road, a ban on red cars for City employees – have been trotted out ad infinitum since Abu Dhabi ploughed their money into the blue half of Manchester.

FANNING THE FLAMES
HOW THE RIVALRY FLARED UP
CARLOS TEVEZ JUMPS SHIP
The Argentine opts to leave Manchester United on a free transfer after two trophy-winning seasons in a red shirt, signing a lucrative contract with their local rivals. The “Welcome to Manchester” billboard erected to celebrate his arrival at City does not go down well with Red Devils supporters.
6-1 AT OLD TRAFFORD
A match that sent shockwaves through English football as Manchester City pitched up at their rivals’ stadium and tore them apart. The famous “Why Always Me?” T-shirt was revealed to the world as Roberto Mancini’s men announced themselves as genuine title contenders.
“AGUEROOOOOOOOOOO…”
After threatening to lose their grip on the Premier League in their final few games, Manchester City complete an astonishing injury-time turnaround against QPR to lift the trophy. At Sunderland, United see glory slip through their fingers.

Carlos Tevez was snatched away from Old Trafford in a deal that City hoped would be a sign of the times. But it was the manner of the transfer which rankled most with United fans and even Sir Alex Ferguson.

The infamous “Welcome to Manchester” billboard erected on Deansgate sparked more point-scoring between clubs and fans. Was it an example of City being small-time or was it harmless fun to which United reacted bitterly? Either way, it was certainly a benchmark in the modern rivalry.

But, even as City started to ramp up the volume off the pitch, they were continually served up heartbreaking defeats on it. Michael Owen in the last minute in the league, Wayne Rooney in the last minute in the Capital One Cup, Paul Scholes in the last minute at Eastlands. All in that same season. Just like the old days.

Those games were interspersed with crowd unrest. The atmosphere at Old Trafford for Tevez’s early-season return was toxic, as it was later that season in the Capital One Cup after the Argentine had taunted United fans and substitute Gary Neville after scoring a penalty in the first leg. Neville had fired back a one-fingered salute.

City frustrations grew with each cruel defeat and, for them, every match became more and more an opportunity to give United the beating that they had coming to them. Wayne Rooney’s overhead kick did nothing to help matters as the next season wore on.

The tide turned in City’s favour later that campaign when they reached the FA Cup final at the Red Devils’ expense. They went on to win the trophy, their first since 1976. United clinched the league title on the very same day and the point-scoring got louder and more passionate in an hour of mutual glory. Whose success meant more? Who was overshadowed?

And so the 2011-12 season started. United were the defending champions, City had won the FA Cup. United’s crowing about City’s long barren spell, a staple of match day Stretford End sing-songs, had been put to an end. “Thirty-five years…”, no more.

The first derby of the campaign rolled around with United fans wondering quietly if City might actually go one step further. They had got a trophy under their belt, after all.

The 6-1 hammering that followed turned English football on its head.

Were United about to be overthrown by their “little brother”, as Ole Gunnar Solskjaer once remarked? It was as big a result as the English top flight had seen. Had the lie of the Premier League land been changed forever? Was this the oft-mooted power shift?

This time it was United who had been embarrassed and they did not like it one bit. They knew that they were in a fight and worries set in as the season dragged on. The bitterness over that defeat was only multiplied months later when the Red Devils were outplayed at the Etihad Stadium as City went top with a handful of games to play.

And what happened in the final minute of season will have been the bitterest pill that United fans have ever had to swallow. The kind of miraculous recovery that had typified Ferguson’s side had bitten them on the backside in the most dramatic circumstances.

Martin Tyler’s throaty roars will haunt Reds forever, even if they win the league by 30 points this season and the next five editions after that.

It was enough to make any man bitter. Sir Alex has never publicly discussed his feelings on that fateful day, stating only that the club had to move on.

In the unabating narrative of football, the first derby of this season, back in December, offered United a chance a revenge. The atmosphere was again electric.

From an emotional point of view, the match was a disaster. United fans were jubilant as they went 2-0 up. The glory days were back, they had put the last day of the season behind them, United were playing brilliantly and would go six points clear.

But they were soon a nervous mixture of anger and sadness as their rivals pulled it back to 2-2 in the second half. City fans, once again, were lording a dramatic comeback over their red counterparts. The team had again showed that they just flat out refused to be cowed by United and their fans responded in kind.

Then Robin van Persie scored in the last minute and everything went blurry. Rio Ferdinand was hit by a coin as he celebrated with his own fans, lucky that only one flying object struck him. Moments later, a fan ran onto the pitch to confront the England defender. A number of arrests were made, as is common at big derbies. What was unusual was that one of those detained was not even at the ground – he was so furious after watching events unfold on television that he racially abused Ferdinand on Twitter.

The 15-point gap that has developed between the sides since then should actually serve to diminish the emotions surrounding the match – but only a little. United can exert their traditional dominance once again on Monday. If the destination of the title is not certain already, a home victory will dispel any doubts.

City, for their part, can show that they are not a flash in the pan. They can give United, who have underperformed since Nani’s red card against Real Madrid, something to worry about for the run-in.

Either way, old wounds are about to be reopened as the Manchester derby get underway

   

Richards considered for shock Manchester derby return

The 24-year-old full-back has been sidelined for the past six months, but he could be set for a dramatic comeback on Monday as Roberto Mancini looks to rest Pablo Zabaleta

           

EXCLUSIVE
By Paul Clennam

Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini could risk throwing Micah Richards straight back into his side for Monday’s derby against Manchester United, despite him only just returning from a six-month spell on the sidelines.

The 24-year-old right-back had made just three league appearances prior to undergoing knee surgery at the end of October.

 
MANCHESTER CITY LATEST
10/1 City are 10/1 with William Hill to beat Manchester United 2-1 on Monday evening

However, with the FA Cup semi-final against Chelsea on the horizon, Mancini is mulling over resting Pablo Zabaleta, who has had to play through minor injuries throughout the season in Richards’ absence.

The England defender has been back in full training recently, and has outlined his desire to return at Old Trafford more than once.

“I think the Newcastle match [on March 30] will come too soon for me, though I hope to have been training normally by then,” Richards told reporters in March.

“Realistically, I’m looking more to the game away to United and then the FA Cup semi-final to be properly involved again.”

Sergio Aguero, who has been out for a month with a knee injury, trained at Carrington during the international break and could also be in contention, while Carlos Tevez is set to face his former club despite having to play on with an injury in Saturday’s 4-0 win over Newcastle after David Silva had been withdrawn due to injury.

Samir Nasri also picked up a knock in that game, and although there are slight concerns over a niggling ankle complaint, City are confident the Frenchman will be ready for Monday.

   

The England striker has missed the last two matches with a groin injury, while the Brazilian full-back was withdrawn in the first half against Sunderland last Saturday

           

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has confirmed that Wayne Rooney and Rafael have returned to training ahead of Monday’s clash with Manchester City.

As reported by Goal.com on Wednesday, the United boss is willing to risk the England striker despite having missed the matches against Sunderland and Chelsea over Easter.

Nemanja Vidic and Jonny Evans, however, are yet to take part in preparations for the match at Old Trafford after also sustaining knocks on Wearside.

“Wayne and Rafa have started training this morning, which is good news,” Sir Alex told reporters on Thursday.

 
MANCHESTER UNITED LATEST
6/1 Wayne Rooney is 6/1 with William Hill to score two or more goals in Monday’s Manchester derby

“Hopefully, they will be fine by Monday. Jonny Evans and Nemanja Vidic are not there yet but hopefully they will start training maybe [Friday] or Saturday morning. We have a little bit of time on our hands to get most of the troops ready for the game.”

The 71-year-old also responded to criticism that has come United’s way since they were eliminated from the FA Cup by Chelsea on Monday and believes that, as long as his side win the league, it will not be a disappointing season.

“The way we’ve approached things is the correct way and that’s to win the next game,” he added.

“Hopefully, it takes us to winning the league. It doesn’t matter what people say outside of the club, it’s about what we think inside the club. We’re always looking to do our best. It’s been a good season for us.

“It’s a derby game with a difference from a few years ago. We have to get used to playing Manchester City in big games and that’s the case again.

“The important thing is to win Monday’s game. It’ll be a big game for City. They’ll want to come and derail us for a spell. We’re at home and our consistency is there for all to see. I expect us to perform really well on Monday.”

Sir Alex also praised his players for their league form, which has handed them a 15-point gap over City at the top of the table.

He beamed: “We have to congratulate our players on their consistency – to win 25 out of 30 games is a record and should be applauded.

“It’s fantastic. But we’ve still got to win the title. We have eight games left and that’s 24 points to play for.”